Mother's Day 2013

Today is Mother's Day.  Its a day I no longer look forward to. I am not spending it as I expected. My expectations were I would spend the entire weekend at work and not have to deal with the reality of not having my son here to celebrate with. Instead, I am spending Mother's Day in Utah with my sister, niece and the rest of my original family celebrating the life and mouning the life of my brother in law, Randy.  I celebrated Mother's Day with my family before i left for Utah with breakfast in bed. they gave me a wonderful college of pictures of my kids growing up. We went for a bike ride. Later that night, Heather and I went to Flashdance the musical.  The day was very low key.  it was exactly the way I wanted to celebrate Mothers day, except I didn't get to see my oldest beautiful daughter.

Tuesday I left for Utah.

Randy's viewing was Thursday evening and Friday morning. I really didn't know if I could go and the give support Megan and Lori needed.  There are just to emotional scabs on my heart that have not healed. I didn't want have the tables turned and them have to hold me up because of my hurting heart.  I prayed that I would be able to get through it but not just get through it but be a source of strength for Lori and Megan.  God listened to my prayers and I didn't break down once. I was able to see and intervene to avoid possible problems for them.  I am so grateful for that.  

I have so much admiration for those two wonderful ladies. Lori handled everything with grace and dignity.  She is radiant and her love of God shines through her.  She is such a role model for me. I don't think I have ever been able to handle as well as she does.  Meg is such a beautiful and loving young lady.  She too, handled things very well.  For everything going on she dug deep, relied on her Savior to give her strength to pull her through. 

Saturday I was able to go to lunch with two of Bryan's friends.  Dave, one of best friends, Christina, a friend that Bryan always talked about and Dave's girlfriend. I was able to remember bryan and laugh at the memories. I was blessed and was reminded I am glad I had 25 years with him. He was bright, funny and always finding ways to get in trouble.  It was a wonderful Mother's Day present.  

Today I am spending the day with Mom, Dad, T, Lori and Megan. I am sure the day will be spent laughing and remembering Bryan and Randy.  As much as I didn't want to celebrate Mothers Day, I have had a week of celebrating, gratitude, inspirations and great presents.  I still would love to Bryan here, I am going into Mother's Day with an attitude of gratefulness instead of anxiousness.