Yesterday was a very bad day and the blog definitely showed it. Today is a better day. Much! I saw this video on Pinterest today. It reminded me very blessed I am that I am Bryan's mom. Yesterday I was feeling like a failure as a mom. All of the horrible thoughts of if only, I should have, ect were in mind. I have thought about every bad mom moment I have had and blamed myself for Bryan's addictions and consequent his death, for the past 2 plus years. I had a lot of them. Sometimes I think more bad than good. Somewhere down the line there must have had some pretty good moments. My 25 year old drug using gang member son called me mommy until the day he died. He told his friends I was his hero. Me, his mom! He made his friends stop cursing in front of me and on his Facebook. He made his friend meet me when I was in town. He was proud of me. There is a song that made him think of me when he heard it. It was played at his funeral. Its exactly what he thought of me. The song is Running My Mom Crazy.
'
I am not saying any of that to brag. There are lots of moms that read this blog and think you are a bad mom or your bad mom moments out weigh the good moment, if you have someone ask your kids what they think about you, I bet we all. Would get similar answers to the video. Moms keep doing what your doing. You are someone's hero!
I have to start my thankful list today. I am thankful God gave me the privilege to be Bryan, Krystal, Kyle , and Heather's mom. What a blessing I have in each one of them. Each have taught me far more than I have taught them.. They are my heart and soul. My world would not be complete if I hadn't had them. Thank you, God for entrusting each of these precious souls to me. Help me to overcome my iniquities.
