I miss you, Bryan. I miss your laugh, your silly joke, the I am in trouble phone call,the girlfriend sagas but mostly I just miss you. It's been 438 day since you went away, not that I am counting or anything. Everyday seems like a thousand. I don't cry as much anymore, my mind is mostly back and I don't think I am certifiably crazy anymore, although your brother and sisters might not agree. I smile a little more although the smiles don't quite make it to my eyes. I don't feel as guilty laughing and enjoying stuff that you would enjoy.. I know you would want me to enjoy life, and I am trying but there is such a major void a part of me that's not there anymore.
There are so many things that remind me of you, recessess peanut better cups, pumpkin pie, funny boxers, McDonalds, your blanket. There is so many things I have the thought I am going to ca...but then I remember I can't call you. You're favorite time of year is upon us again. Halloween through Christmas. The way to YOUR heart truly was through food. I could make smile just by telling you I made a pie, or buying you a candy bar. I miss fighting over pumpkin pie.
There are so many things I want your opinion on. You are so interwoven in my life even though you're not here. So many things make me think of you. Thanks for being my son and teaching me so many lessons of life.
I really didn't mean for this to be sad and depressing. I just wanted to talk with you to feel you by my side again. Yep you guessed it I want to hear "mommy I love you!"
Until we meet again.
I love you Bub. Don't do anything that will get you in to too much trouble. Hope your having a good time!
:)
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